Kathy Cenekofsky never had the chance to date a lot when she was younger because she married her high school sweetheart.
When her 26-year marriage ended amicably four years ago, 53-year-old Cenekofsky of Lancaster wondered where to meet someone. She logged on to online dating sites to help dive back into the dating pool.
?I knew I didn?t want to meet someone at a bar. I am too old for that,? Cenekofsky said. ?And between work and other things, when would I find the time to meet someone? It only made sense to go online.?
Cenekofsky is not alone in her way of thinking. The 50-and-over crowd makes up about 40 percent of the U.S. population, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, and these percentages are reflected in online dating statistics. The 50-to-60 age group is one of the fastest-growing demographic groups, according to People Media, the online parent group of more than 10 popular dating sites, including bbpeoplemeet.com and singleparentmeet.com.
According to People Media, the 50-plus age group represents 31 percent of its websites? 4 million users per month and its senior online site, seniorpeoplemeet.com, has an average of more than 59,000 visitors a day.
There are many dating websites from which to choose ? some with specific criteria and others that cater to any age group, according Cenekofsky, who tried several sites including Match.com and eHarmony.com before finding love again on the free site, Plenty of Fish (pof.com). After two years in the virtual dating pool, Cenekofsky is engaged to 50-year-old David Geist of Lancaster.
?I met him online, and he was pretty persistent,? Cenekofsky said. ?You can find love again if you are patient.?
For baby boomers, it may feel better to look on sites that cater to them, rather than a site that includes all ages. Those on the age-specific sites, such as seniorpeoplemeet, ourtime.com and eHarmony, may have similar life experiences, which can make the online experience less intimidating.
Having life experiences in common are important, according to Lynn Barter of Lancaster. Barter met her now-husband, 59-year-old David, on Singlesnet.com four years ago.
?I knew what is important to me ? family. It?s important to him too,? Barter said. ?He was willing to embrace my family openly.
?That?s very important to a woman with children, and later in life many of us are mothers and have things to consider,? Barter said.
When selecting a site, know what you are looking for in a potential date, especially those who are older, according to an article by relationship expert Gian Gonzaga of eHarmony.com.
Dating may seem to be the same experience at any age, but there are some things for those older than 50 to consider when dating online, according to senior advice columnist Maureen Leader of Lancaster.
?You know who you are and what you want in a relationship, but you can?t be vulnerable and be that lonely divorcee,? Leader said.
Leader suggests checking a prospective date?s history by running his or her name through Google and being careful not to give out too much information about yourself too soon in the relationship.
?People aren?t always honest online and may have other intentions,? Leader said.
The Barters agreed and said that personal safety, at any age, should be at the top of the priority list.
?Personal safety is most important,? David Barter said. ?Don?t put yourself in any kind of situation too soon.?
?Talk on the phone first,? Lynn said. ?For women, get his name, but don?t give out your full name, address or financial information. But be sure to research him thoroughly.?
On People Media?s SeniorPeopleMeet site, seniorpeoplemeet.com, 83 percent of its users earn more than $100,000 a year, and half of the users are college-educated, according to the People Media website.
With age comes more financial stability, according to Leader.
?When you are younger, you don?t have that stability or even a savings,? Leader said. ?Think before you divulge any financial information to a date.?
For those who have been out of the dating game for a while, online dating also can provide some security in that they can get to know someone by chatting or through email before actually meeting.
?The hard part is kind of done ahead of time, and you can decide when, and if, you are ready to meet the other person on your own terms,? Cenekofsky said.
This groundwork can alleviate some of the awkwardness that can accompany a traditional blind date, she added.
In days pre-online dating, singles relied on family and friends to set them up, Leader said.
?The Internet opens up a whole world of dating to you,? Leader said. ?And you can do it in your pajamas.?
?For me, I don?t drink or go to bars,? Barter said. ?I am a teacher and have two side businesses. When would I have time to look for someone? Online also helped me weed out those who wouldn?t be good matches.?
It also can reunite people and provide a place for couples to get acquainted again later in life.
?You always hear of that couple who went to high school together and found each other again online,? Leader said. ?How else would their paths have crossed??
But, it may be wise to not bring up those historical facts right away.
?Leave the ugliness at home,? Cenekofsky said. ?You don?t have to get into all of the gory details of your divorce or past relationships.
?The bashing doesn?t do anyone any good,? Cenekofsky said. ?And by this age, you should be able to put your past aside and focus on your future.?
?But you should be upfront about your past sooner than later,? Lynn Barter said. ?Don?t hide anything.?
?Don?t be afraid to be yourself and put yourself out there,? David Barter said. ?It can pay off in the end.?
cesbenshade@lnpnews.com
Article source: http://lancasteronline.com/article/local/737630_Boomers-and-online-dating-make-a-nice-couple.html
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